Pardon Yourself

When a close friend comes to us and tells about some of their mistake or something terrible which they did our first reaction is to comfort them and sooth out the mental facilities. We acknowledge that yeah it’s already done and help them out to straighten the act. We all are very efficient once it comes to others or near and dear ones to bring in solutions and mental comfort to the person. Any ordeal and we are great advisors, councilors and wise men when it comes to others. We all have something to add and council the grieving, troubled soul. We hug them, understand their view points and once they have cooled down perhaps seek ways together to avoid such incidents in future. We are great help to others.

However the same “We” are not so kind on ourselves when a setback knocks. Often we are not able to pardon ourselves and lack self-compassion. The only person who matters most in your life is you, yourself. Unless we actively practice self-compassion we are just another case of depression in waiting, we spiral in to self-criticism and loth the feeling of failing, why me comes first. Though, I am yet to find a book called life where on any page it’s written you won’t commit mistakes or you can’t fail.

Of course we fail, we commit mistakes, we misbehave or we go through some ordeal due to our own acts majority of time. For a lot of people it takes very long to get over it mentally.   Recovering emotionally requires self awareness and compassion, it’s also paves way for emotional resilience against all odds.

Be mindful: Acknowledge your suffering while it’s going on, understand what you are going though from a 3rd person perspective. Awareness is the key which can prevent you from it’s vicious circle.

You are not alone:  there are a lot of people who go through such rough patches and you are not alone in fact some time or the other you have helped others to come out of it.

Self Kindness: Some simple pampering of ourselves, a nice haircut, a good cup of coffee, some shopping, taking your mind off the issue with an intention to be happy in your own company, appreciate yourself of even buy yourself your favorite cake or whatever.

Nervous adrenalin needs to change to happy oxytocin in our minds increases happiness and feel good feeing in our system and gives us ammunition to fight with the issue in hand in a better way.

Keep reminding yourself that it hurts, it’s tough time but I was happy and I will be happy it’s just a phase in between nothing I permanent. Struggle is the name of the game in life and I am not alone in this. Just address yourself with your name and check if you can give him or her the best advice under the situation.

Above all pardon yourself let bygone be bygone, learn your lessons and look forward to act upon the future course of action.